As a first-time author, the writing and publishing experience is brand new to me and more than a little daunting! Thankfully, LifeRich Publishing has been very helpful and supportive, as I journey through unknown waters. If you have had the opportunity to read my book: Hold On, My Child…Joy Comes in the Morning, you may be wondering why I would ever want to pen such a personal and revealing memoir to the entire world. The answer is not too complicated…I have always loved to read and write; and during the global pandemic, having some extra time on my hands, I followed my heart and finally decided to share not only some of my life experiences, but also the hard-won lessons that I have learned over the years.
I would love to help other people avoid the pitfalls that I gradually fell into, trying to navigate a long-term marriage fraught with lies, betrayal, and cheating. Throw in the poisonous darts of undiagnosed mental illness, both seen and hidden addictions, and the threat of episodic intimate partner violence, and it is a toxic mix for sure. After many years, I finally had the insight, courage, opportunity and support to leave my husband for good, but I was left with the horrendous task of starting my life over, in a new community, with no home, job or separate income of my own. Moreover, I could not afford expensive therapy or counselling services, and instead, relied on my wonderful family and a few close friends for practical help and moral support. They ultimately became my earthly angels.
Unfortunately, most people are reluctant to write about or discuss such sensitive and painful issues, even that of divorce, despite the fact that almost half of all relationships eventually falter and fail. Incredibly, the church is no different in this matter. In fact, there are very few lay or professional resources out there for those experiencing a crisis of any sort…I clearly remember walking through the aisles of my local big-box bookstore, trying to find anything that could explain why my husband would do what he did and how I had ended up in such a state of utter catastrophe. Although the failure of my first marriage may have been initially unforeseen and ultimately unavoidable, I have learned over the years that there are usually red flags waving when trouble is on the horizon. Although I more than likely ignored some of those markers, out of a misguided sense of denial and self-preservation, I have personally (and professionally) experienced them myself, and wanted to identify them for others who may be going through similar situations.
Hence, although I still don’t claim to have all the answers, my story is true to life. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and ask God “Why?” and “Why me?” There are no ready answers to that riddle and sadly, in this life, there may never be. I have ultimately discovered that we often just have to be okay with the not knowing. It is what it is.
