Our mindset reveals a lot about not only our personality but also our current and/or past circumstances. Throughout our lifetime, we are molded and influenced by both our environment and our experiences. The nature versus nuture debate is never-ending. Our brain never really turns itself off…even in sleep, we are dreaming, when the computer of our mind is repairing itself. The sleep experts tell us that a typical adult requires between eight and ten hours of sleep each night, but few of us actually manage to obtain this much rest, for various reasons. Crying babies, sick and restless children sharing our beds, and endless worry can keep us awake for hours and hours each night; not to mention the effects of caffeine or too much rich food before bedtime! Personally, I find that if I am tired when I wake up, nothing tends to go well for me that day.
I watched an interview with Princess Anne a couple of years ago, prior to Queen Elizabeth’s death. She was asked to describe the type of thinking that her mother exhibited. Anne thought about it for a few moments and then said that her mom was not an optimist, pessimist, or idealist, but rather, a realist. She preferred to deal with certainties and facts, rather than speculating on what might or might not happen. Given the stability and longevity of Queen Elizabeth, I can only surmise that this type of mindset served her well, over the course of her long lifetime and reign. I am sure that we all fall into one or more of these categories, depending on the day and what is happening around us at the time, but I would like to think that I share this characteristic with Her Majesty.
I would never describe myself as an optimistic person; rather, I tend to think of all of the many things that can go wrong in any given situation. Sometimes, I even like to problem solve, when there is no apparent problem on the horizon! I have been accused at times of being too pessimistic, but that is a state that I try NOT to fall into if I can help it. If I lie awake in the middle of the night and start to dwell on all of the problems in my life, I usually wake up feeling the same way the next morning. In fact, negative thinking tends to perpetuate itself, and can lead one to fantasize a doomsday scenario…not productive at all! It is not a happy place in which to live and can make everyone around us miserable as well.
On the other hand, it is not healthy to be overly optimistic or even idealistic, to the point of not being able to face reality. This is a common defence mechanism, and I have observed many people who acted like ostriches, hiding their heads in the sand when faced with difficult decisions, or when not wanting to face the fear of the unknown. Putting off a doctor’s visit, despite having concerning symptoms is a prime example of this. Over time, I have learned to make myself face things head-on, even when the answer can be very unpleasant or frightening. I like to know what I am dealing with, so that I know my options and can make an action plan. Facing the truth of a situation can really hurt though.
Years ago, I would tell friends that I did not want to “get my hopes up,” because I didn’t want to be disappointed down the road, when things did not turn out as planned. (I think this may be an East Coast mentality!) I have since learned that this is a terrible way of thinking and can turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy. Indeed, as Christians, we are instructed in the Bible to hope…Jeremiah 29:11-12 states: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.'” This is a wonderful promise from God; we know that He always has our best interests at heart. When our hope is gone, nothing else seems to matter much. Fear and faith cannot live together in peace and harmony. In prayer and supplication, we can look upwards to heaven…even if the answer we receive is not completely to our liking, God ultimately holds all of the solutions to life’s problems.
