As some of you may know, my husband and I have been living through a long season of testing, trials and tribulations, which started in August 2018, approximately one year after our marriage. Paul woke up one hot summer day, in pain and unable to walk. His lower back pain was excruciating, and nothing he did seemed to fix it or make a difference. Over the next few months, we spent many hours in medical clinics and hospitals, seeing medical specialists and completing tests, trying to find a diagnosis and a cure. It turned out to be plain old osteoarthritis, causing degeneration of the discs in his back, with resulting nerve pain. Unfortunately, surgery was not a viable option. The next spring, he seemed to come down with another problem, as his entire body became stiff, and the muscles did not seem to want to work properly. He was tired and fatigued all of the time, spending most of his days in bed, seeking relief from the never-ending pain and disability.
He was eventually referred to a pain clinic, where one day we walked in and saw a huge sign describing all of his new symptoms; including stiff muscles, weakness, fatigue, insomnia and overall body pain. He had also become very sensitive to noise and temperature, encouraging me to tiptoe around our multi-level home. The new diagnosis was fibromyalgia, a rather mysterious disease with no easy cure. For the past six years, Paul has remained mostly in bed, having tried physiotherapy, massage therapy, exercise, various medications, spinal blocks, and every other cure in the book. Nothing was permanent, and he eventually went from walking with a cane to walking with a walker, even in the house. Last year we moved to a new community, closer to our family, where the living space was all on one level. That has turned out to be a very good decision, just in the nick of time.
In the middle of June of this year, Paul’s health seemed to take a turn for the worse. His blood pressure became unstable, requiring an overnight stay in our local emergency department. The official diagnosis was dehydration, although I had my doubts. Over the past few weeks, he had also seemed to lose his appetite, and feel increasingly tired, weak and fatigued. I was only able to travel to Europe for my son’s wedding in late June, after Paul’s brother and wife graciously offered to come stay with him while I was away for ten days. He was just too unwell to be on his own. The wedding went off beautifully, and our family had a wonderful time in picturesque Holland. I felt so grateful to be able to go.
I spent July 29 babysitting my sweet little granddaughter, Charlotte, arriving back home around 5:30 p.m. As soon as I opened the front door, I could hear my husband moaning…upon further exploration, there he was, lying in agony on the floor of our bathroom. He could not remember what had happened, and I had no idea how long he had actually lain there without any help. Horrified, I called 911, and he was eventually transported to the hospital across the street from where we now live. To make a long story short, after spending two nightmarish days and nights in the ER, he was transferred to a medical floor, where he was diagnosed with bacterial pneumonia, blood sepsis and delirium. I have spent most of my life as a nurse, but I have never seen anyone any sicker than Paul…those first few hours, I feared that he might lose his life. I prayed earnestly to God that He would protect Paul and heal him completely, as did our close family and friends. Eventually, with the help of an excellent internal medicine team and I.V. antibiotics, he did make a full recovery. During that time in hospital, Paul told me that he could feel the presence of God and angels around him. Miraculously, after spending two gruelling weeks in hospital, he was able to come home, where he continues to slowly improve and is getting his strength back. It was a very bad experience all around, but we are trying to look forward and not backwards.
The speed with which Paul became ill underlines the truth about our circumstances…we can be going about our business totally oblivious to any pitfalls and feeling normal one day, while the next day, all hell can come crashing down around us. His official diagnosis was “Walking Pneumonia”, which makes sense of the vague symptoms leading up to his fall. He never had so much as one cough or sneeze, and unlike me, he rarely gets a cold or the flu. Whether his illness was an attack from our enemy, the devil, or just a very unfortunate exposure to a pathogen, I do not know. What I do know, however, is that as Christians, we need to be vigilant at all times. Satan is the enemy of our soul, and especially if we are trying to live for God, we are always in his line of fire. As such, we need to put on the full armour of God and pray in the spirit, continually, in ALL things.
Our lives are different now, given that my husband has even more needs than before his illness and hospitalization. I am trying to learn to be content in all circumstances, whether good or bad. This spring and summer have been challenging in many ways, but we know that through it all, God was with us. He always has our backs…no matter what! In Philippians 4:11-13, the apostle Paul writes: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength”. We do not know what lies before us, but we can be sure that God is the author and finisher of our faith. What He starts, He will finish. And EVERYTHING He does is excellent!
Amen
